Neighbourhood wars
01 April 2008
Sarkozy’s visit to the UK last week was a bid to deepen the entente cordiale between the two countries and to endear the idea of Europe to the Brits. Not gonna happen.
At an international press conference, a bemused American marcomms guy observed that there are certain ways to deal with the European press. He elaborated by saying that to invite one German editor is to invite them all. Germans arrive en masse and stick together – usually near the bar area. One never knows if the Italian journalists will attend as they are too relaxed to RSVP, but to be safe one should tell them that the event begins a few hours earlier than it does to make sure any that do turn up and arrive in good time. The UK press can be relied upon as the entertainment. “You guys tell jokes about body parts and functions that no-one else can make funny, everyone loves your sense of humour,” the American observed. The Swedes, Norwegians and Danish are usually already installed at the bar before the event, sniping about who invaded whom over the centuries, before all is forgotten by initiating a drinking competition with the Germans. In fact, if you spot anyone at an international event looking the worse for wear, it will be a good bet that they have been out with Scandanavians the night before.
And what about the French? “Ah, they are usually standing away from the various groups and not talking to each other very much.” The American observed that Europeans need France to unite Europe. Eh? ‘Why’s that?’, we Brits, Swedes and Germans asked. “Because everyone seems to dislike them; it is the only common trait I’ve found in Europeans,” said the wise man.
Apart from socialising at press events, Europeans do not work well together. Working and living happily together is a rare feat; we can’t all be Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee.
Look at Eurofighter Typhoon. The fighter aircraft was meant to be a joint project with the UK, Germany, Italy and France. It was delivered a decade late, with costs that had escalated ‘out of control’ and to a world in which many found it to be outdated. The French dropped out of that project in 1985 to go it alone to build its own aircraft.
The trouble with France is that it is too close to the UK geographically, but not culturally. Sarkozy talked about the two countries being brothers, but what two brothers really work well together? Never put them in the same room unless they are talking football, in my experience. Even when the two countries agreed on a connecting tunnel there was a wrangle over who drilled where, the point where France ended and England began, and whether the train service should have a British-sounding name or the French-sounding Le Shuttle. I still make a point of calling it the English Channel to set the record straight!
France and the UK tried to make entente cordiale work with Concorde back in 1969. Again, the French insisted on that Gallic-sounding ‘e’ on the end. Its first commercial flight was in 1976, but back then fuel was expensive and Concorde was the original gas-guzzler. Passenger numbers fell, maintenance costs rose, and in 2003 Concorde was retired.
In a model of hope over experience, we tried again with Airbus; Europe’s answer to the US’s Boeing. This is a 20/80 collaboration between Britain’s BAE and EADS, the German-French defence company. Guess what? In the next four years, 10,000 jobs will be cut in France, Germany, the UK, and Spain to save £5.5billion. The project has run into problems with delays and rising costs. Quelle suprise! The project has been described as having a fragmented structure and being highly-inefficient and uncompetitive with Boeing. Airbus had to have two chief executives; one to represent German interests, one for French. This German/French leadership, reminiscent of the would-be super-powers within the European Union, has led to crippling in-fighting and a lack of continuity through a succession of management changes.
Now if Europe was to throw a party, that would be a different matter. What a success that could be if France provided the wine and food, Italy provided the stylish decor/table settings, Britain could provide the entertainment and music, the Germans could organise the timetable, and the Belgians could be the event’s accountants. Magnifique!
Contact Details and Archive...
Most Viewed Articles...